Sexual Health Requires Sexual Freedom
Who knew wanting sexual health would require fighting for sexual freedom?
Sexual health is not freely given to us but is something that must be self-administered. It’s not mentioned explicitly, or at all, in the Constitution. There are current legal restrictions on sexual activities between consenting adults, so do we have no legal sexual freedom? Our choices reflect individual rights and we all deserve individual sexual rights. True sexual health is born from sexual freedom whether individual, erotic performances, or commercial substitutes for partnered sex. Sexual freedom will not be easily won in our society.
Think back to time spent in educational institutions. Sexual-relational rites of passage are ignored for those with alternative identities and orientations. This is institutional oppression that is often internalized and allows heteroarchal norms to flourish. Sexual health within education would include the presence and support of every possible sexual-relational configuration. Alternative community members are not celebrated in history class, supported at prom, depicted on television or discussed at the traditional family dinner table. What’s the message in this? That it’s not acceptable, normal or healthy. Much damage is done when we shame or thwart an individual’s natural impulse to be life-affirmingly sexual.
Language and vocal volume are both great social indicators of a lack of sexual freedom and health. Why such a huge taboo upon the public discussions of our sexuality and bodies? Why are tone and volume dropped to a "secret" level, affirming the concept that these sexual topics are not "okay?" When we do this are we not accommodating and perpetuating sexual policing and shame? If a sexual topic makes you anxious, your work is to discuss it so as to increase your sexual confidence and health.
Sexual freedom is the most powerful component of sexual health and most importantly involves being in full acceptance of ones total "arousal constellation" -- meaning all that turns us on sexually: People, places, objects, scenarios, attributes, sensations and senses. None of this is chosen or under our control; neither the "family" nor "educational systems" support sexual well-being, as anxiety about the "truth" gets in the way of actual education.
Pornography use is an integral part of most of our sexual lives. The positives of porn use greatly outweigh the negatives. Sadly, this is one of the few places where individuals can learn about, seek and have all parts of their arousal constellation normalized. People have oral sex, anal sex, have plural sex with all sorts of numerical configurations, pee on each other and put fists up their ass, while others pay for erotic massage and sex.