Why Moms Are Weird
First off, a big apology to Pamela ("Pamie") Ribon for not getting this review out on the day her new book Why Moms Are Weird hit the shelves. I contacted her about reviewing it probably minutes after she announced the proofs were available from her publisher, and I got a copy within days. I then read the book in huge binges over the next couple of days, and then jumped straight back into her first novel, Why Girls Are Weird.
The problem is, this was months ago, so when I sat down to write this review, I was a little fuzzy on all the details that made it so great. So I re-read the whole thing over the last couple of busy weeks, and now, with it fresh in my mind, I’m trying again. Yes, I’m putting in a big effort here to convince you all to read this book. Sadly, someone else came up with the amazing line, "Pamie hits it right out of the vagina with this one," so I’ll have to work a little harder on my reasons.
As with Why Girls Are Weird, the story is told in a semi-diary format. And, as with The Odyssey, the main character goes on a hero’s journey of growth and discovery. Okay, that second part is actually true, but I mostly threw it in so I could be the first reviewer to put a "chick lit" novel through the Joseph Campbell mythology machine. At any rate, we follow Belinda "Benny Boobenstein" Bernstein’s thoughts as she meets the (possible) love of her life, moves away from him to take care of her crazy family, meets another (possible) love of her life, and then finally makes her decision about what she wants. It probably sounds like Sex in the City-level fare, but it’s not: it’s way better.
Sure, anyone can throw a bunch of modern references into a book to make it up-to-the-minute, and Pamie writes references aplenty: in the first ten pages, she’s mentioned Charles Whitman, Mr. Show DVDs, Grey Gardens, MySpace, and iTunes. But what makes Pamie’s writing special is that she knows what to do with all this stuff. It isn’t just modern window-dressing; Pamie knows that pop culture insinuates itself into our psyches much deeper than most of us would care to admit, affecting everything from what we buy to who (and how) we love. Benny’s extended riff on the soundtracks of our lives ("Lost in the Supermarket") becomes a metaphor for her ongoing debate about mastering her own destiny versus having everything determined for her by the demands of others. I’m sure other critics have already explored the Freudian side of chick-lit, so I’ll check my id, ego, and super-ego on this one.
If Benny just had to decide which boy she likes best, this book wouldn’t rise far from its genre classification, but Pamie explores other more complicated relationships, too. The most complicated and modern relationship can be found between Benny and her mother. Benny’s father has died, and Benny’s mother is again dating - but she’s not just looking to settle down again, which means Benny has to deal with everything from her mom’s chlamydia scare to the way she’s juggling multiple boyfriends.
The daughter-mother role reversal isn’t unique to this story by any stretch of the imagination, but Pamie explores nooks and crannys of the relationship that others have glossed over. Again, the key here is that she’s not afraid to look at the details.
Of course, to see all of these details close-up in a first person novel, you have to have a pretty neurotic and self-involved main character who can stop to analyze everything - and while these characters are a dime a dozen in chick lit, finding one who’s actually likable, flaws and all, is much more rare. (For example, in The Devil Wears Prada, you may have rooted for whiny protagonist Andy Sachs, but weren’t you secretly just waiting to find out what horrible thing her boss would do to her next?) Pamie has provided just such a likable character in Benny Bernstein. Benny has her share of problems - she’s formerly fat and still can’t get past her childhood memories of it, she feels alienated from her mother and sister since her father died, and she can’t seem to hold on to a boyfriend - but through it all, it’s impossible not to root for her. She’s smart, she’s funny, and, in the end, she always knows if she’s made the right decision or not, and she faces up to the consequences.
There’s no obvious denial here, which is part of what makes the book so entertaining: even though Benny seems to put everything out on the table for her audience, she’s still discovering things about herself, and she can’t yet share what she hasn’t yet discovered. We have to keep turning the pages to get Benny to the point where she’s negotiated her latest challenge and learned something new about herself. With the snappy, short chapters, it’s quite easy to plan on reading just one, and then find yourself fifty pages further along than you expected.
All of this talk about how Why Moms Are Weird moves beyond chick-lit might discourage you from thinking of this as a summer beach read, but it shouldn’t. In fact, for all its insightfulness, it’s such a light and breezy comic read that it should be at the top of your beach list. Just make sure you apply a liberal amount of sunscreen before you dig in; heaven knows if you’ll look up before you’re done!
by Pamela Ribon
$13.00, paperback, Downtown Press (Pocket Books)
